August 4, 2008
· Filed under observation, thoughts, weaknesses · Tagged country, thoughts
Today, I attended a flag ceremony. It was held in a parking lot. The lot was practically empty. Our class was the only one there, watching the flag get raised in its “full honor.” I was talking about the moldy ground that we were standing on. I don’t know if someone heard me but then again, I don’t really care. It was true. The thing is… I’ve always been hostile with flag ceremonies. It’s not my favorite time of day. I guess it used to be okay back in high school; when we were caved inside a gymnasium or our school’s quadrangle. The prayer was also okay. It was like asking God to save the country from the fall but the rest is just… agonizing. What I saw was our dieing country, fooling itself with the lyrics of the national anthem. The flag was tattered and as they raised it, it slowly tangled up unto the forsaken pole that was supposed to put it on the pedestal. And you should’ve seen the surroundings; outside the ground is the street which was obviously infested with flood a few days back and there were children, ugly, malnourished faces of poverty who played behind the fence like prisoners. As I watched the flag being raised, I bit my tongue, trying to sing along the words instead of uttering words of impertinence towards the melodious lies. God, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I don’t know whether to laugh or mourn at the irony that filled the atmosphere. What made it more annoying is knowing that no matter how hard I work my ass off, it wouldn’t make much difference simply because there are more crappy people than people who give a crap. Now, tell me, where is the meaning of that song? Where is the honor in that ceremony?
Maybe… someday… it’ll regain its value. But when would that be?
April 20, 2008
· Filed under weaknesses · Tagged bully, friends, lousy, stupid, taunting
Back in the days, I have a friend. He is the subject of taunting and bullying. He cries a lot, despite the fact that he is a high school freshman already. He became my friend. He is alright as a person, a bit sensitive but he’s alright. Because of his flamboyant manner and sensitive attitude, he is called ‘gay.’ Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being gay. It’s just that when one is not gay, he shouldn’t be called that. But he is… and he cries because of it. And I am his friend. But I’m a lousy friend. I make fun of him too. I call him gay too. Although I am aware that it is wrong, I still do it anyway. Perhaps I was immature back then. I don’t really know. All I know is I’m a lousy friend. I have another guy friend who teases him. They’re friends too but he still gets bullied by that guy. And we joined forces to annoy him… even made a game that involves teasing him until he cries. Yes, I am a lousy friend. I don’t deserve to be called his friend. And then there’s my other friend. She is also a subject of bullying. My bullied guy friend bullies her… but they’re friends… they tease each other. They tease me too. But they’re teasing is nothing compared to what I’m giving them. And I feel bad because these two are really good friends to me. They never let me down… they never allow me to get hurt but I am one of those people who cause them pain. Some friend I turned out to be. They moved to another school after our sophomore year. We still keep in touch but we can’t see each other. Then I missed them… and I still do.
December 6, 2007
· Filed under weaknesses · Tagged Pride, sin
Pride… it is one of the seven capital sins. It’s something that I can’t seem to overcome. It’s my weakness. You know what’s so evil about it? Once a person is proud, the other capital sins follow. Greed, Lust, Sloth, Gluttony, Wrath and Envy. Fortunately, the only thing that followed my pride is sloth. I am afraid that wrath may follow soon. My pride keeps my soul wide open for all the other evils to come in and take over me. I need to overcome this sin.
